


Modestly Scandalous

by GhostGarrison



Series: Dragon Age Tumblr Fics [9]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Dates, Humor, M/M, Meddling, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 12:57:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17044163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostGarrison/pseuds/GhostGarrison
Summary: Isabela and Varric are damn good at fucking shit up—especially when it comes to 'helping' their friends on a date.





	Modestly Scandalous

“We have to embarrass them,” Isabela says, peering across the Hanged Man at Hawke, who is currently on a ‘date’ with Anders. They’re sitting across from another, talking quietly and smiling every so often. With the way the fireplace casts them in a warm glow, it’s nearly picturesque, like something right out of one of Varric’s romance serials.

“Oh? Why should we do that?” Merrill asks, glancing in the same direction before turning back to her friends.

Isabela hums. “Their first date is going well… _too well._ ”

“I thought the purpose of dates was to have a nice time together,” Merrill replies, tilting her head. “They’re our friends. Why would we ever want to ruin it?”

“Ah, but Daisy,” Varric says, joining them with a mug and settling down at the table. “It’s their _first_ date. The first date should always be terribly awkward, otherwise, where’s the fun? The drama? All the best relationships have a little sprinkled in.”

The trio sits silently, watching the new couple intently.

“We could…” Varric begins, leaning in to whisper in her ear.

“That’s only modestly scandalous,” Isabela replies. She crosses her arms, well-lined eyes narrowing as she thinks. “We need to go big, otherwise it won’t be worth it… I think I have just the thing.”

+

“Messere Hawke!” a voice shouts, drawing attention from all around the bar room. A woman–one of the serving ladies, disguised with clothes and makeup done by Isabela in Varric’s suite–stands at the entrance, clutching her hand over her heart. 

“It is I, your wife from Ferelden!” She rushes over to their table, despite the complete look of horror on Hawke’s face. She grasps his hands between hers, holding it to her bosom. “Finally I have found you! Forever, I have been looking for my long, lost love!”

“She’s good…” Varric murmurs.

“Those wishful actress-types,” Isabela returns “She knows what she’s doing.”

Hawke still stares incredulously at her, mouth slightly agape. Anders is also staring, looking between Hawke and the ‘mysterious wife.’

“But alas,” the woman says, letting out a dramatic gasp. “I have fallen in love with another! I can no longer be your wife. Please, do not wait for me. I must go, my new beloved awaits!” With a theatrical flourish, she twirls on her heel and strides briskly out of the Hanged Man.

All eyes in the tavern turn back to the man in question.

“I— I don’t—” Hawke stammers, face bright red as he turns to look at Anders who stands and turns toward the door. “I can—well, I _can’t_ explain but… hey, wait! Please!”

“That was…” Merrill begins, after all three had left and the normal bar rumble of conversation resumed.

“Worth every coin,” Isabela says, giving Varric a victorious high-five. “Don’t worry, kitten, they’ll talk it out. In one way or another.”

**Author's Note:**

> lmao this was a challenge from drawsshits who wanted someone to use the term "modestly scandalous" in a fic
> 
> saving this from the tumblr purge of 2018
> 
> find me on tumblr/pillowfort @ storybookhawke


End file.
